i've got this

i read today that the body of medical knowledge doubles every 5 years.  don't worry, i'm completely on top of that.

if you want the good lord to take you, you've got to slow down

 'i am finding this aging thing to be no fun at all,' my nonagenarian grandmother said to me, after telling me about her various maladies and doctor's visits.   'i'm ready for the good lord to take me.'   this has been her constant refrain the past few years.

but my sisters and i had recently visited her and were in awe of the speed with which she raced down the hall from her apartment to the dining room.  we thought she needed some racing stripes on her walker, or at least a horn to warn the slower ones she was passing.  we found ourselves scurrying to keep up.  my sister told her that the reason the good lord wasn't taking her was that he just couldn't catch her.

let the buyer beware, particularly if taking sleeping pills

my patient took a sleeping pill for three nights and thought everything was great.  until, that is, she got a sales call regarding the instant face lift she had ordered from an infomercial the night before.  she had absolutely no recollection of this whatsoever.  maybe we better try something else for that insomnia...