lost in translation

what i say:  "mr./ms. smith, you are due for a colonoscopy/blood test/mammogram.  here is a written order."

what they hear: "take this slip of paper, put it in your purse/wallet/pocket.  keep it there until next year so you can sheepishly retrieve it and show it to me when i ask you why you didn't get your test done."

bad name for a nursing home

i was delighted to hear that my patient who recently suffered a subdural hematoma after a fall will now be residing at the Great Falls nursing home.