stages of grief, as applied to the doctor's scale

my desk is within earshot of our scale, so about 40 times a day, i am privy to patients' comments as they are weighed.  it dawned on me that most of the comments fell into one of the five stages of grief:

denial -- 'something is clearly wrong with your scale!'

anger -- 'i don't see why i have to get on this scale!'

bargaining -- 'i just weighed myself this morning, can't you use that measurement?'

depression --  no comment, just silence and maybe a sigh.

acceptance --  don't actually hear that one very often.

well, that would be more fun than sleep apnea

i was typing a note today and meant to type "patient reports occasionally waking abruptly gasping for breath" and instead typed "patient reports occasionally waking abruptly grasping for breast"

good thing i caught that before i hit the sign button.