no, not the one where i save some one's life on a plane (that's really more of a resident's fantasy, when you actually know how to save some one's life in an emergency and your head is still full of your new doctorhood. now i just keep my nose in my book and pray that there is no emergency). this particular one is currently my most well-developed and enduring fantasy - i call it my home for wayward widows. yes, that's right, my fantasy is that i have a home where widows can come together and live out the remainder of their years in the comfort and fellowship of other widows.
there is of course no textbook widowhood. and i, being relatively young and married, know very little about it. but there are certain widows that i have in mind, a group that i encounter fairly often. usually they are getting up in their years and typically they have been married for the greater part of their lives. the anchor of their marriage has been pulled up and they are set utterly and totally adrift by widowhood. however well-meaning and loving, their kids are grown and fully occupied by their own complicated lives. their mobility has been curtailed by their bladders or their arthritis or their glaucoma. they are at the mercy of the lonely seas.
something about the combination of their strength and fragility draws me to them. i want to take care of them, but really i want to watch them take care of themselves. wouldn't they have fun sitting around a big old farm table sharing laughs about their snoring farting husbands or tears about the trials of their children! am i crazy to think i could create such a place? is there any need?
there is a beautiful historic bed and breakfast for sale near us. when i told my friend that i wanted to buy it and create my widow home she said no! i couldn't do that! you see she was going to buy it and turn it in to a living history museum and inn. well, since neither of us have a million dollars handy, we will just have to both go on with our fantasies. that's the beauty of a fantasy - it's free!