mrs. freestyle: "you're going to kill me!"
me: "i usually try very hard not to kill my patients"
she was really just setting me up for the confession she was about to make of how she was not taking a particular medicine exactly as i prescribed, but had come up with her own more creative dosing regimen. hmmm.... who's going to kill you? (nah, i'm just joking, what she was doing was fine)
i get a lot of these opening statements -- you're going to holler at me -- is one i hear often. surely they know i'm just not the hollering type. do they want me to holler at them? maybe i should try it, really cut loose on the next patient who didn't lose those fifteen pounds or didn't quit smoking. i'm sure that yelling could be a very effective, or at least satisfying, way of addressing these blatant failures. why haven't i adopted this style already? time's a wasting - let me get yelling!